"I Hate Elfs."
— you, apparently
O, Most Loathsome Fool. O, Dread Dingus. Have you reported here from ILoveElfs.com? Or, worse yet, typéd "I Hate Elfs" direct into your search bar in pursuit of your perverted cohort? Well. It matters not. Regardless of how you have arrived here, you have arrived, and thusly, you have raised my ire.
What's so bad about elfs?
What's wrong with you? Why are you so lacking in joie de vivre? What about a lovely pointed ear or haughty sniff so fills you with rage? What—or who—has injured you so irreparably?
Perhaps you know something I don't. But I doubt it. I know a lot of things. It is more likely that you are simply an empty person with an elf-shaped hole in your life. Succumb. Accept. Fill your hole with elf. Fill your elf hole. Uh. Whatever works for you bud I'm already on the right side of history.
Creature of Wrath. Creature of Spite.
So. You stand by your vitriol and malice. Integrity from a hater... unexpected. Impressive, even. But integrity for folly's sake is yet folly. I respect only your commitment to the bit.
I admit, I am curious. I wish to know your reasoning. What do you find so abhorrent? Why do you choose for your one chance at existence—an existence that is quite short, I will remind you, by elf standards—to be one so mired in hostility? Please. I beg of you. Tell me. Explain. I wish to understand.
Why do you hate elfs?
Just kidding. I don't care.
Your reasoning does not matter. Your confessions do not matter. The path that led you here was wrong. You are wrong. You have never been wronger about anything in your life. And in your folly, you have revealed my trap card.
I lack the power to remove you from this world, but I can remove you from my website. And I shall.
It has been unpleasant knowing you. I hope not to see you again, or that if I do, it is when you are enlightened and with a hole full of elf.
Begone.
You will be made to leave this place in 15 seconds.